Astro-Drummer

Humor

How To Maintain Your Sanity

by on Jul.03, 2011, under Humor

To maintain ones sanity, sometimes you need a bit of insanity. Try one or all of these:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”

5. Put decaf in the coffee pot for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Smuggling Diamonds”

7. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance With the Prophecy.”

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”

12. Sing along at the opera

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won!, I won!”

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner. “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity……. Share this with friends, family and co-workers. It’s called therapy!

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Judgement Day

by on May.23, 2011, under Humor, Personal

Judgment Day postponed until October 21, 2011.

Yeah, this Camping guy assumes he used the Bible to
predict the end of days. As far as faith and the Bible is concerned, there two
problems: the Bible does not state hoe long Adam and Eve were in the Garden of
Evil and two since creation occurred before hans created the calendar, how long
is a “day.”

There is a third: who is he to know what God will do and
when it will happen. Sounds like pride.

Being a scientist, a global earthquake is a silly idea.
There are no known Near Earth Object on a course save one: asteroid Apophos -I
think that is the spelling. It should pass close to Earth closer than the moon.
So far the date is between 2029 to 2036. Will it hit Earth? Not likely. CME
eruptions from the Sun? Nope. Planetary alignment? Nope. A pole shift? Nope,
and the only thing affected in that are things that rely on magnetic north like
birds, GPS perhaps. Earth-crust displacement? This theory is replaced by plate
tectonics. And no.

The Earth is safe so far. The only thing that will severely harm the
world are humans!

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Why Some Men Have Dogs and Not Wives.

by on Apr.01, 2011, under Humor, Personal

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog’s parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get
another dog?”

9. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a
pervert.

10. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad.
They just think it’s interesting.

11. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

12. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.

To test this theory:

Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who’s happy to see you.

If you have taken this post seriously, you are too uptight. Sarcastic, unrealistic anecdotes is also called “humor.”

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To All You Credit Reduction Folks

by on Jan.27, 2010, under Humor, Website Related

I have been getting many comments on my Citi Bank Sucks post, and I realize that the comments are clever spam. The comments make me look good so I allow the comments, I just remove the links to your sites!

How do you like that?

Keep on posting comments if you wish, just know that I will not allow this blog to be free advertising for you.

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Create Your Own South Park Character

by on Jan.08, 2008, under Humor

The South Park website has a fun little tool to create your own character avatar. All the famous choices are there, and there are a nice variety of styles to choose from. For me, I like wearing neutral colors and a hat – and I also wear round sunglasses. And naturally I wear a V-drums t-shirt – something I added with PhotoShop. Enjoy…

My South Park Character 

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My Wife’s Great Sense of Humor

by on Sep.26, 2007, under Humor

It’s no secret that those of us in the US are getting a bit heavy; so let’s put this into perspective:

USA versus the EU

The beach is a great place to hang out, relax and have a good time. Some one in this image is having a really good time. Can you see it?

Fun at the beach

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